They Should Call It 'ALL UP IN MY FACEbook'

Facebook is out of control.
Okay, I know, that’s not exactly the biggest truth-bomb I could drop on a Monday—I’m fatigued, bear with me.

But, seriously, it’s just too much. Since the inception of facebook, I’ve been careful who I friended. But now, like in the film INCEPTION, the world as I know it is topsy-turvy, and all bets are off. I’m using it to network in the comedy world, I’ve got people I was “friends” from when FB started in my college days, and I’ve got the randoms I met while living inside Caucasia. At first, it was kinda cute. You know, when I got a friend request from a former camper I tended to many summers ago. But just a couple days ago I got a request from someone who vaguely resembles the dude who stood next to me in line at a UCB show but whom I didn’t exchange words with. That’s just creepy.

I’d done a pretty good job of avoiding coworkers and family for quite a while, but in the last year I haven’t been able to help it (nothing makes for an awkward family reunion quite like explaining why you rejected your uncle’s friend request). Every time I think I’ve put the lid on it (i.e. updated my privacy settings), facebook blows the whole thing wide open, and everyone’s all up in my business. Or worse—I get TMI about them.

Of course, this leads to hours of procrastination looking at wedding and engagement photos. But it also means that the details of my tween cousins’ lives pop up on my screen almost every time I log on. And, quite frankly, it’s about as interesting as an episode of Hannah Montana. Take, for instance, cousin Danielle’s latest activity, which takes up my whole mini-feed:


Danielle Likes Its stupid when someone texts you first and they never reply after you text them back
Yes, yes it IS stupid.

Danielle Likes I wanna meet myself as someone else just to see what it feels like :D

What does that even mean???

And another stumper:
Danielle likes *looks at hot boy* *looks at best friend* Best friend-"I KNOW!" :)

I tell ya, the kids today. I just don’t get ‘em.

Danielle Likes No mom, you're mad because you're wrong, not because i am talking back….

Oh, and this one has to be my favorite:
Danielle likes Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in tin foil
Uh-oh, look at the tweens telling a little TRUTH!!!


Okay, so in summation – facebook’s annoying, teenagers annoying, and I can’t stop thinking about Inception.