Just when his grip was starting to loosen, he comes out with his autobiography:
No words are needed here. As usual, R. Kelly leaves us shocked, awed, and titillated.
Showing posts with label brilliance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label brilliance. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
He's Baaaaaccckkkkkk
You guys know how much I'm obsessed with R. Kelly, right?
Just when his grip was starting to loosen, he comes out with his autobiography:
No words are needed here. As usual, R. Kelly leaves us shocked, awed, and titillated.
Just when his grip was starting to loosen, he comes out with his autobiography:
No words are needed here. As usual, R. Kelly leaves us shocked, awed, and titillated.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Greatest News Ever
Praise Black Jesus--There's a new black genius!
I am very excited about this genius teen--and she was homeschooled by a single father, no less. I hope she enjoys her education and opportunities before Tyler Perry tries to buy the rights to her life. She speaks Swahili, Arabic, and Spanish. Y'all--this girl is the future of our country.
I really want to be her big sister. I could teach her what to look out for in Connecticut and discuss June Jordan while we make s'mores on the stovetop.
I think my favorite part is the dad's comment on raising a genius, which the reporter uses as her closer (good work, Tanyanika):
"She tries to outthink me all the time," he laughed. "She's quick with it. You have to be sharp. She has me drinking ginkgo on the regular."
I'm about to get over to GNC right now!
Happy Friday!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
A Black History Month Present From Me to You
My only problem with this is that I'm not in it.
(You all know how I feel about Harriet getting all the glory.)
(You all know how I feel about Harriet getting all the glory.)
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Bernice Bobs Her Mullet
As a woman of color and a writer, it is behoovy of me to attend as many theatrical events as possible. I especially love a good musical (perhaps it's because of the spirituals of my ancestors), and last week I attended one of the greatest musicals of our time: BERNICE BOBS HER MULLET.
It's like "Mean Girls" meets "Jerry Springer" in its sassiness and white trashery. It's the story of Bernice, a po' white girl (so broke she can't afford the "o" or the "r") who longs to leave her small town of Eau Claire, Arkansas, and see the big city. In this case the big city is Little Rock!!!
This is when you know you're in for a treat. As Bernice sings about the "culture shock in Little Rock," I begin clapping like a cracked out toddler. My excitement is further compounded by the fact that I am attending this event with three of the most attractive gay men I've ever seen (other than Isiah Washington, of course). I am sitting next to my crush, Tumbles (I give them all names, kind of like Flava Flav on 'Flavor of Love'), and I am in heaven! We are there to support a friend in the production, actor Nick Cearley. I don't know Nick that well, but after viewing 'Trapped in the Closet' with him, a love affair was born.
Now, after seeing him in "Bernice Bobs Her Mullet," I'm prepared to be his beard, his best woman when he gets gay married, and donate my womb as a surrogate. He is the greatest actor of our time. I believe I squeezed Tumbles' bulging bicep as soon as Nick began to sing the song "What An Awkward Moment."
YES! Finally, a writer has been clever enough to put a lyrical spin on my favorite character trait.
Cearley's acting chops were put to the test when he had to accompany this musical magic with the unneccessary use of jazz hands. It takes a true actor to pull off choreography meant for a 3rd grade girl scout troop.
I would have to say the show's highlight was the musical extravaganza lead by actor Jeff Hiller, who played a fundamentalist Christian preacher named Draycott Deyo.... or however a weird name like that is spelled. Hiller is 6-feet 5 inches tall, gay as the day is long, and funnier than a barrel of monkeys. Give him the accompaniment of song (and the clever use of tambourines and African dance moves as backup), and he simply lights up a stage. And my heart.
Tumbles was thrown by my excitement as I grabbed his testicles in a fit of glee.
There was also the requisite bitchy girl, cousin Marjorie, who can't stand Bernice's white trash ways (little does Marjorie know, she's trashy herself. And a bit of a slut-- which we can infer by the fact that she sings the climax of a song while doing cartwheels and a series of rotating splits, which most likely chafed her vajay-jay). Marjorie's musical moment was the hit song, "I Hate Myself," which was simply brilliant. Marjorie explains to Bernice that if she wants to fit in among the rich elite of Little Rock, it is best to "hate yourself to recreate yourself."
SO TRUE.
Nothing gets a fatty off the couch and on an elliptical like self-loathing.
The lessons provided by this musical are too numerous to mention in one post. I suggest you find a way to see it (hold the cast hostage and force them to reenact it if you have to) and experience the magic for yourself. I also had the pleasure of meeting the writer/elite gay visionary Joe Major (whom I now have a major crush on-- PUNS!), to whom I expressed my awe and desire for negroes in the production. You know a show is good when Sojo wants it to go multi-culti.
I am going to start a petition demanding that "Bernice Bobs Her Mullet" receive an extended run on the great Broad-way in January 2008. I think it's time the NYC tourists saw their lives on the stage, instead of all those damn spelling bees.
It's like "Mean Girls" meets "Jerry Springer" in its sassiness and white trashery. It's the story of Bernice, a po' white girl (so broke she can't afford the "o" or the "r") who longs to leave her small town of Eau Claire, Arkansas, and see the big city. In this case the big city is Little Rock!!!
This is when you know you're in for a treat. As Bernice sings about the "culture shock in Little Rock," I begin clapping like a cracked out toddler. My excitement is further compounded by the fact that I am attending this event with three of the most attractive gay men I've ever seen (other than Isiah Washington, of course). I am sitting next to my crush, Tumbles (I give them all names, kind of like Flava Flav on 'Flavor of Love'), and I am in heaven! We are there to support a friend in the production, actor Nick Cearley. I don't know Nick that well, but after viewing 'Trapped in the Closet' with him, a love affair was born.
Now, after seeing him in "Bernice Bobs Her Mullet," I'm prepared to be his beard, his best woman when he gets gay married, and donate my womb as a surrogate. He is the greatest actor of our time. I believe I squeezed Tumbles' bulging bicep as soon as Nick began to sing the song "What An Awkward Moment."
YES! Finally, a writer has been clever enough to put a lyrical spin on my favorite character trait.
Cearley's acting chops were put to the test when he had to accompany this musical magic with the unneccessary use of jazz hands. It takes a true actor to pull off choreography meant for a 3rd grade girl scout troop.
I would have to say the show's highlight was the musical extravaganza lead by actor Jeff Hiller, who played a fundamentalist Christian preacher named Draycott Deyo.... or however a weird name like that is spelled. Hiller is 6-feet 5 inches tall, gay as the day is long, and funnier than a barrel of monkeys. Give him the accompaniment of song (and the clever use of tambourines and African dance moves as backup), and he simply lights up a stage. And my heart.
Tumbles was thrown by my excitement as I grabbed his testicles in a fit of glee.
There was also the requisite bitchy girl, cousin Marjorie, who can't stand Bernice's white trash ways (little does Marjorie know, she's trashy herself. And a bit of a slut-- which we can infer by the fact that she sings the climax of a song while doing cartwheels and a series of rotating splits, which most likely chafed her vajay-jay). Marjorie's musical moment was the hit song, "I Hate Myself," which was simply brilliant. Marjorie explains to Bernice that if she wants to fit in among the rich elite of Little Rock, it is best to "hate yourself to recreate yourself."
SO TRUE.
Nothing gets a fatty off the couch and on an elliptical like self-loathing.
The lessons provided by this musical are too numerous to mention in one post. I suggest you find a way to see it (hold the cast hostage and force them to reenact it if you have to) and experience the magic for yourself. I also had the pleasure of meeting the writer/elite gay visionary Joe Major (whom I now have a major crush on-- PUNS!), to whom I expressed my awe and desire for negroes in the production. You know a show is good when Sojo wants it to go multi-culti.
I am going to start a petition demanding that "Bernice Bobs Her Mullet" receive an extended run on the great Broad-way in January 2008. I think it's time the NYC tourists saw their lives on the stage, instead of all those damn spelling bees.
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