Ode to Harry Potter

Okay, I know Harry Potter mania is sweeping the nation right now, with book 7 and the movie. But I deserve to add my three rupees to the Potter discourses. It's my 40 acres.

I heart Harry Potter. I swoon over every second of his milky goodness. He defies all laws of puberty and Britishness, with his clear skin and gleaming teeth.

Yeah, I saw the movie last night. Or, as one friend put it-- the movie and the gun show! Harry has got more definition than a dictionary, and I want to read him forwards and back!

Look, I know he's "underage." I know he "lives in another time zone." I know he "doesn't know I exist." But if I let that kind of negative thinking get in my way, I'd never have hopped on the underground railroad to freedom.

As a free slave, I have learned to read and write. And I will use Harry's native tongue-- the British sonnet (and iambic pentameter)-- to express my love. I think both you and Harry will agree that we are meant to be.

Harry Potter Book 8: Harry and the Legend of Interracial Love

Let me in your heart and I'll take care of your magical creature.
I promise I'll be gentle and show more respect than that house elf Kreacher.
Let me ride your firebolt , I'm nimble like a Nimbus two thousand,
I can make your body jolt; like Lupin on a full moon, you'll be howlin'!
Your owl may be named Hedwig, but you've got more than an angry inch
I bet it's more like nine and three-quarters after I give it a little bit of a pinch.
Now I should say something about how I'm a muggle
Cause that would allow me to rhyme with 'snuggle'
But I think we both know I'm more clever than that
And I want to be on your head longer than the Sorting Hat.
In America, loving you makes me a pedophile
Cause you're still quite pubescent.
But I know I can make it worth your while
Besides, I hear in England 16 is the age of consent.


Do you see his pectorals through his t-shirt? I bought it for him at Tween Gap . I thought it was really sweet of him to wear it as I saw him off on the Hogwart's Express. He was really upset that we'd be apart for so long, so he had that "scary/nauseous-oh-my-god-it's-You-Know-Who" look on his face.