This post goes out to my newest follower (number 26!), American Girl in London. According to her info, she's moved out there to be with her beau, and I think that whenever she has doubts or gets nervous, she can look back on posts like these and know she's made the right choice!
Here is the entirety of an email I received from a man on the internet.
hi beautiful,so what you have been upto lately how was ur Long weekend mine was long :) i was in atlantic city playing poker and made just 114 dollars LOL.
g
I don't even know what to say about this. I think it speaks for itself. Some questions, though:
1. Was the space bar faulty on his computer?
2. He had no problem spelling out the other words in the email, so do you think he actually just doesn't know how to spell "your"?
3. Do you think he thought to himself, "Grammar? i barely even know her!" WHY IS THERE ONLY ONE PERIOD IN THIS EMAIL?! And why is the 'l' in long weekend capitalized? I'm sorry, that really gets my goat. If you don't know me at all, and our initial mode of communication is written, don't you think it would be behoovy of you to write using correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation? I mean, what else do I have to go on?
4. 114 dollars? What a weird amount to win.
Luckily I've found someone who's willing to joke about grandchildren--and he types so well!
Showing posts with label typos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label typos. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Monday, July 14, 2008
Sojourner and the Giant Peach
Last week I decided the only way to get my groove back was to get back on the dating scene I know and love—the internet dating scene. As many of you know (and if you don’t know, click here!), there’s nothing that revs my engine quite like the boost of an internet date. The reasons for this are manifold:
1. I am able to sharpen my social skills by meeting new people
2. My sense of superiority is increased when I receive emails from people who are unable to spell-check, telling me that they are “realy layed back and into all kind of stuff.”
3. I am reminded that there are a whole host of single men out there, just looking to have a relationship…or put their P in your V—and you’ve gotta be able to tell the difference.
4. Meeting randoms in heavily populated, well-lit environments is a good way to prepare for traveling to a foreign land where I’ll have to make new friends ASAP and stretch myself to my limits.
Last week, while bored on the plantation, I put an ad up on the personals section of CL—you know, CrazyList.org. Within minutes, the inbox of my alias email address was flooded with replies.
In the words of Sally Field during her Oscar acceptance speech, “You like me! You really like me!”
Unfortunately, not too many of my “suitors” were suitable—although I was quite glad I’d put in my post, “For the love of god, do NOT send me pictures of your man parts.” I think that really helped cut down on the potential pervy responses.
Of the 20 responses, about 2 of them were worth gchatting with and getting to know. And boy, was I glad I did. Take, for instance, J.R.
JR is a young man who lives outside of the city and was randomly checking out craigslist. His first email to me was:
Im Jacob... and i love you already... well from what i hear...
i cant wait to find out if you are really there ... cause you sound cool as hell.
I mean, how could I not respond? Sure, he could have capitalized here and there, and I appreciate a good apostrophe as much as the next gal, but in these two lines he displayed three very important traits: (1) the willingness to jump the gun and tell a stranger he loves them; (2) the knowledge of my innate coolness; (3) the propensity for over-using ellipses.
Jacob and I started gchatting and I learned that he was attending culinary school and would gladly cook for me. After about 20 minutes, I logged off, not feeling any sparks, but excited at the prospect of getting a free meal in the near future. The next morning, the eager beaver messaged me again. The conversation that followed epitomizes everything I love about meeting people on the internet. Note: there have been no changes made to excerpted text below (note the typos). Everything you read is as it originally appeared. Read and enjoy.
Jacob: do you mind if i b other you/
me: why not at all
[this shows you how willing I am to kill time while in the workplace. Lord knows I didn’t need to be chatting with a random at 10am]
1. I am able to sharpen my social skills by meeting new people
2. My sense of superiority is increased when I receive emails from people who are unable to spell-check, telling me that they are “realy layed back and into all kind of stuff.”
3. I am reminded that there are a whole host of single men out there, just looking to have a relationship…or put their P in your V—and you’ve gotta be able to tell the difference.
4. Meeting randoms in heavily populated, well-lit environments is a good way to prepare for traveling to a foreign land where I’ll have to make new friends ASAP and stretch myself to my limits.
Last week, while bored on the plantation, I put an ad up on the personals section of CL—you know, CrazyList.org. Within minutes, the inbox of my alias email address was flooded with replies.
In the words of Sally Field during her Oscar acceptance speech, “You like me! You really like me!”
Unfortunately, not too many of my “suitors” were suitable—although I was quite glad I’d put in my post, “For the love of god, do NOT send me pictures of your man parts.” I think that really helped cut down on the potential pervy responses.
Of the 20 responses, about 2 of them were worth gchatting with and getting to know. And boy, was I glad I did. Take, for instance, J.R.
JR is a young man who lives outside of the city and was randomly checking out craigslist. His first email to me was:
Im Jacob... and i love you already... well from what i hear...
i cant wait to find out if you are really there ... cause you sound cool as hell.
I mean, how could I not respond? Sure, he could have capitalized here and there, and I appreciate a good apostrophe as much as the next gal, but in these two lines he displayed three very important traits: (1) the willingness to jump the gun and tell a stranger he loves them; (2) the knowledge of my innate coolness; (3) the propensity for over-using ellipses.
Jacob and I started gchatting and I learned that he was attending culinary school and would gladly cook for me. After about 20 minutes, I logged off, not feeling any sparks, but excited at the prospect of getting a free meal in the near future. The next morning, the eager beaver messaged me again. The conversation that followed epitomizes everything I love about meeting people on the internet. Note: there have been no changes made to excerpted text below (note the typos). Everything you read is as it originally appeared. Read and enjoy.
Jacob: do you mind if i b other you/
me: why not at all
[this shows you how willing I am to kill time while in the workplace. Lord knows I didn’t need to be chatting with a random at 10am]
Jacob: i had a really weird dream
me: what happened?
Jacob: growing up there was this really hip cd store called plastic fantastic....that was the setting
and they would let you listen to cd;s before you bought them
so cuba gooding was recomending me crappy music
me: hahahha
[Why is he telling me this?]
JR:and then i went outside... and it was my old soccer team from high school... but they were playing football
and my dog was the quarterback ... standing up like a person and throwing the ball
me: you mean like air bud?
air bud 3: golden receiver?
JR: so cuba comes out and gives me the keys to his moped
yeh exactly and he tells me i need to go get more water for the team
and i end up riding my moped ..... being chased by robin hood the serial killer through my freinds house
me: my god
jr, this is intense!
JR: i k now it was terrible
so i found refuge in a pizza place
me: well, it was nice of
i've always liked him in films
JR: hes ok
bad taste in music
i woke up before i got my pizza... still scared of robbin hood
me: which robin hood?
men in tights?
or the animated one?
JR: neither... its like gotham city robin hood with a sythe
and a really big jacket like the talking heads
so then i took a piss cause thats what men do in the morning
and threw the ball for my dog
ate some breakfast.... and then i remembered youd be here
me: jr
you are a peach.
Google search: James and the Giant Peach. I think I kinda look like the little boy.
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