That's a slight amendment to my normal motto: Erase. Replace. Embrace new face! You know how Sojo likes to bounce back when the men have done her wrong!
Today I gave the massa notice that I was leaving the plantation--yay!! I was really nervous to break the news, then I rememebr that laying it out there would be a hell of a lot better than running away and risk getting my feet cut off (remember ROOTS).
I was in a place of empowerment, as this action came on the heels of me officially dumping the kiwi.
Today I gave the massa notice that I was leaving the plantation--yay!! I was really nervous to break the news, then I rememebr that laying it out there would be a hell of a lot better than running away and risk getting my feet cut off (remember ROOTS).
I was in a place of empowerment, as this action came on the heels of me officially dumping the kiwi.
Yes, readers, even after he was allegedly done, I went back into his foreign arms--partially out of boredom, and partially because he promised to feed me dinner yet again (you know how I hate to turn down a free meal--it's my weakness). However, it just wasn't working for me. I mean, I know I'm leaving and I'm not looking for a baby daddy, but at the very least I should be able to find someone who will call me up regularly and turn me out!!
"Well, duh, Sojourner," you may be thinking. "You're a strong black woman with a boobs so nice that your friend's fiancee calls you 'Count Rack-ula'--you should want for nothing in the bedroom."
"Well, duh, Sojourner," you may be thinking. "You're a strong black woman with a boobs so nice that your friend's fiancee calls you 'Count Rack-ula'--you should want for nothing in the bedroom."
Yes, you are right. But guys, I have a confession. I know that I may appear to be a strong black woman (you know, whose truth you can't handle), but I can be quite the delicate lamb with terrible taste in men. Often, I'll just let a relationship go on, too afraid to end it for whatever ridiculous reason. But, in anticipation of my upcoming voyage, I am turning over a new leaf (listening to India.Aire's "Strength, Courage, & Wisdom" helps), and no longer settling for half-assed d-bags simply because I'm bored or they think I've got nice boobies.
I believe when I called the kiwi my exact words were, "Let's stop this foolishness."
Y'all, I am a 47-year-old divorcee and I don't have time for this ish (me and Danny Glover are both getting too old for this shit)! I realized things had gotten too intense when my homegirl who is studying for the GREs used Sojourner's truths to help her learn some complicated mathematics. For example:
1. If the blacktress has 5 possible guys to date, how many different possible combinations are there for going out with different people on Friday and Satuday night?
2. If each of her dates send her an average of 5 inappropriate text messages per day, plus some other random dude sends 5 messages every 3 days, how many days until her inbox is full (assuming it holds 50 messages)?
3. If Sojourner has 6 slutty tops, 4 pairs of pants and 3 skirts to choose from, how many possible bombshell outfits can she construct?
4. Sojo starts in Harlem and travels 5.8 miles south to Union Sqare, then walks 1 mile east and .2 miles south to the bourgie pig. How far is she from home at the end of the night?
5. If Sojourner has $20 and she takes a cab home which charges a flat fee of $2.50 plus $0.40 per 1/5 mile, will she have enough money to pay for a 15% tip and a $2.00 slice of pizza?
6. If it takes 10 bonza blokes to drink a keg of beer in 4 hours, how long will it take 20 of them to drink 6 kegs?*
I mean, you know my madness has gotten too public when it's become engrained in the the minds of others and is helping them solve for 'y'. (you know, as is "Y God, Y?!")
Well, luckily, I can turn my attention to other good things happening in the world, such as JESSE McCARTNEY'S REMIX OF T-PAIN'S 'BUY YOU A DRANK'!!!
I kid you not.
I think we all know how I feel about the song 'buy you a drank' and its creator, T-Pain. And I think we all know even more how I feel about a tall glass of milk. Well, when you put the two together, you get a drank that's so delicious and intoxicating, I'm still hungover today at work. Check this out, y'all.
No, you're not dreaming.
You're welcome
*For those of you who are dying to know (and want to test your math skills), the answers are below:
1. 20
2. 5 days
3. 42
4. approximately 6.1 miles
5. yes, unless there is wait time
6. 12 hours
I believe when I called the kiwi my exact words were, "Let's stop this foolishness."
Y'all, I am a 47-year-old divorcee and I don't have time for this ish (me and Danny Glover are both getting too old for this shit)! I realized things had gotten too intense when my homegirl who is studying for the GREs used Sojourner's truths to help her learn some complicated mathematics. For example:
1. If the blacktress has 5 possible guys to date, how many different possible combinations are there for going out with different people on Friday and Satuday night?
2. If each of her dates send her an average of 5 inappropriate text messages per day, plus some other random dude sends 5 messages every 3 days, how many days until her inbox is full (assuming it holds 50 messages)?
3. If Sojourner has 6 slutty tops, 4 pairs of pants and 3 skirts to choose from, how many possible bombshell outfits can she construct?
4. Sojo starts in Harlem and travels 5.8 miles south to Union Sqare, then walks 1 mile east and .2 miles south to the bourgie pig. How far is she from home at the end of the night?
5. If Sojourner has $20 and she takes a cab home which charges a flat fee of $2.50 plus $0.40 per 1/5 mile, will she have enough money to pay for a 15% tip and a $2.00 slice of pizza?
6. If it takes 10 bonza blokes to drink a keg of beer in 4 hours, how long will it take 20 of them to drink 6 kegs?*
I mean, you know my madness has gotten too public when it's become engrained in the the minds of others and is helping them solve for 'y'. (you know, as is "Y God, Y?!")
Well, luckily, I can turn my attention to other good things happening in the world, such as JESSE McCARTNEY'S REMIX OF T-PAIN'S 'BUY YOU A DRANK'!!!
I kid you not.
I think we all know how I feel about the song 'buy you a drank' and its creator, T-Pain. And I think we all know even more how I feel about a tall glass of milk. Well, when you put the two together, you get a drank that's so delicious and intoxicating, I'm still hungover today at work. Check this out, y'all.
No, you're not dreaming.
You're welcome
*For those of you who are dying to know (and want to test your math skills), the answers are below:
1. 20
2. 5 days
3. 42
4. approximately 6.1 miles
5. yes, unless there is wait time
6. 12 hours
