Best Query Ever/To Good to Be True!

As you all know, I work at a magazine that covers art. You know, fruit in bowls, landscapes, that sort of thing.

Well, today I just got the best email from a freelancer ever:

To Whom it May Concern:


I am contacting you to inform you that I am available for part time free-lance writing for your magazine.

A little about me: I am an award-winning writer and actress. My inspirational journal THOUGHTS OF A STRIPPER: A Mother's Story is now available.

A successful actress in independent film, I have starred and have been the subject of several independent films that have screened at over 300 film festivals worldwide. Award-winning films include PHONE SEX GRANDMA, THE ACCEPTABLE SIN, THE OUTHOUSE and THE 60 YEAR OLD STRIPPER. I am currently the subject of a feature film documentary THE OLD STRIPPER, directed by my real-life son.

My novel THOUGHTS OF A STRIPPER: A Mother's Story is an inspirational journal about my intense thoughts as a single parent on a 6 year burlesque circuit in the 1970's.

And my upcoming research novel ANIMAL CRUELTY LAWS IN THE US is soon to be released.

Yes!!! I think she may have to freelance for MY SOUL.
(I'm not sure what that means. I'm just excited)
Who is this woman, with her criminal justice degree, and ability to shake it like a polaroid picture AND drop it like it's hot? I may have to turn the tables and interview her, just for my own personal edification. (sidebar: what's a "research novel"?)
If she can write about strippers, she can write about oil paint. Am I right?