Home is Where the Blog Is / Big Big Blacktress News!!!

Dear Gentle Readers,

I know it's been months since my last blog post, and I may have lost some of you forever. But for those of you who still enjoy the procrastination of a good blog read or those of you who kept me in your blog feed, I want to share some important news.

News that has only been shared with family and close friends. News that hasn't even made it to Facebook.

On Friday, March 29, 2013 at approximately 11:35 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, Jewboo ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM. AND I SAID YES!

Can you believe it???? I still kinda can't.

I come to you with this news because you guys know what a blacktress has been through. You've spent nearly 6 years reading about my stops on the long road to finding love. A road filled with potholes (aka potheads who were also assholes), construction closures (you know, the ones who were "going through a lot right now and can't be in a relationship"), and foreign drivers who didn't know how to drive on the right side of the road (I think that's pretty self-explanatory).

I'm not someone who has friends from kindergarten or even middle school that I still keep in touch with. If not for Facebook, there'd only be a handful of high school friends on my radar. Between my year with the Deaf and that time in Australia, I'm somewhat of a rolling stone, and this blog has been my one constant. Although I have many friends I'm close to, and some who have limped alongside me on the trail of tears, many people in my current circle of friends don't really get how much of a change I've undergone. They laugh at the stories and can sympathize with dating struggles, but they don't know how rough it got.
But you do.

Since 2007, you have stood by me during my irrational love of Daniel Radcliffe and shared in my disappointment after I saw him nude in Equus. (And if you check the comments, you'll see where D-Rad himself got up in arms about my...review)

You went along with me on internet dates when I was just a "beautiful pizza-eating black girl," discovering the true depths of Caucraysia. (And, of course, you were there when I first made up the word "Caucraysia".)

You also felt my pain and embarrassment after one hot mess of a Friday night.
And let's not forget THE GREEK (as much as I've tried)

You guys went with me to 8th grade prom in 2008--and witnessed the debut of Scorned Women Ecards, the brainchild of KWalsh and myself--two bitter gals with rapier wits.

You withstood the insanity that went along with loving various Australian men, both at home and Down Under, and the inevitable drama that ensues when a narcissist and a blacktress don't see eye-to-eye.

And of course, I think none of us will forget the morning that I awoke in Jesus' arms.

After kicking off 2009 with an ER visit and Swedish meatballs, I returned to America with a slew of stand-up material and new portmanteaus. Armed with a list of affirmations and goals for the year ahead, you guys sank down with me as I wallowed in "the summer of new lows," which I don't think anyone is proud of. 

As I ended 2009 dissecting every decision I made, I was left with unpleasant realizations about why I was unlovable. I kicked off the holidays with full-on hermiting, renouncing men and repeatedly using the phrase "I'ma DO ME!"

So when Jewboo came into my life in March 2010, he was a total gamechanger. He reciprocated my feelings and in some instances was the first to unleash the full extent of his love.
It wasn't all peaches and cream, however, but we worked through everything from ER trips while meeting his parents to the return of the Australian (who is my own personal Michael Meyers*--he never dies!!!).

From this point on, my blog was less about crazy men and more about the things that really mattered: crazy celebrities and coworkers. Of course, the latter subject got me into heaps of trouble and marked the beginning of the end of the blog. With all the watchful eyes and dissonance between my day job and my blackting, there was really no space for Sojourner's Truths. And really, without the truth, what's the incentive to type up nonsense on the regs?

But since my last post in December, things have changed for a blacktress, and I can now speak the truth and be set free! Laid off from my job, there's no one to pretend to be normal for; and in a relationship full of open and honest communication, I can bloggity blog without fear of hurting his feelings (he understands the requirements of a full-time blacktress).

So, here I am, sharing the most important moment in recent blacktress history. Just 2 weeks after our three-year anniversary, Jewboo totally caught me by surprise by asking me to come into our shared office room to "help with something really quickly." I walked in to find him holding an open ring box with the prettiest ring that I ever did see. Without my knowing, he'd gone to Philadelphia, purchased a ring with the help of his father (too cute!) and had it shipped to New York. The ring is absolutely perfect, the exact style I wanted.

(Ignore the fact that my hand looks like it belongs on an 80-year-old woman. THE RING IS SO PRETTY!)

Given my relationship history, I'm sure it comes as no surprise to you that it still feels surreal almost a week later. I can't believe someone who is cute and funny and smart and not racist wants to be with me forever. I think we can all see the blacktress's journey to true love as a sign that there is good in the world and there's someone out there for everyone. Granted, he may live off the G train and be slightly neurotic, but that can all be worked with. 

I've missed you, blog and blog readers. I'll be back soon--I promise!

*The villain from the Halloween movies, not the Canadian-born comedic actor who also seems to be limitless.

Teen Mom Getting Married! SWOON CITY

The above title is the same as a text message I received upon waking this morning (I'm sure it was sent last night, though. Who texts at 7am?).

Even though I was still groggy and confused, I instantly knew what it meant. Even though I missed it, the "Teen Mom" season finale was last night. And, based on the previous week's episode, I knew Tyler had been thinking of buying Catelynn a ring.

And apparently, he popped the question!!!

I am so ridiculously excited, even though the idea of 17-year-olds getting married kinda makes me scared (for them) and sad (for me- am I behind schedule?). But, quite frankly, when you've been through everything these two tykes have, it makes sense to feel like you want to be in it for life.

(For those of you out of the loop, I basically am obsessed with Tyler)

While, of course, I think most people shouldn't get married until they've earned a degree, seen the world, and learned about themselves solo, I also think that it's important to LOCK IT DOWN when it's working. As far as I'm concerned, Catelynn isn't missing anything by not going to college, getting drunk, and hooking up with randoms who say they'll text her and don't. And she sure as shit isn't missing out on post-college "real world" dating, in which you don't know if a man is for real or wanted in 5 states until the cops come knockin'.

What? I'm not bitter.

Guys, Tyler and Catelynn show the world what love is! Tyler is 17, but he's a man who's unafraid to cry, stand by his woman's side, and give up his baby so that it has everything he didn't.

And, most importantly, Tyler knows that if you like it, then you should put a ring on it!!!

For those of you who haven't seen, here it is:



Oh my god, I love Catelynn's acrylic nails and orthodontia - girls with rubberbands need love, too!! Tyler's totally got product in his hair, and there are those waterworks!! I love him. His suit is way too big. MTV totally rented this spot so they could have a romantic moment, and I love them for it.

So, guys, today is a day to believe in love. And to believe in Tyler. I have embedded the following music video in his honor:



They didn't have "Whatta 17-year-old Boy"...but perhaps that's my next hit single.