I come to you today with a heavy heart.
This morning I received an e-mail from my mom, in response to my blog. Apparently, she “googles me from time to time,” and found a couple of things that weren’t meant for her eyes. You know, like The Best Time I Hooked Up With Someone Because I Cut My Foot.
Awkward Town, Population: ME.
Ok, y’all, here’s my newest initiative:
You know how there are parental controls for televisions and computers that allow parents to block sites and channels so that their children aren’t sullied by adult content? I propose MAMA DRAMA CONTROLS, that prevent parents from looking up their children on the internet. Seriously. She wouldn’t even know how to use the damn thing if it wasn’t for me. There has to be a way to stop her from accessing Google, YouTube, and Altavista.
Being the Claire Huxtable that she is, she proceeded to call me and lecture me on the legal ramifications of my “raunchy” and “work-hating” content. I can be fired for saying negative things about my job, and I could be denied acting gigs if my name is associated with talks of hooking up and what not. We all know that I’ve already felt the repercussions firsthand, as a work-related post had to be taken down recently.
So I come to you, my “followers”. It seems that I, your leader, has gotten us lost. But I am not too proud to ask for directions—and I ain’t too proud to beg. Although I don’t use my real name on the blog, I can’t shake Google’s wandering eye. It seems I have only the following options:
- Find some way to move this site to another domain (by “find some way,” I mean, “figure out how to move all the content”) and set up a different account that is managed by an alias (I think I’ll call her Glorious Jones).
- Maintain the blog as it stands, but delete any “raunchy” or “working-hating” posts, and from this point forward only put up links to funny videos and articles, with no mention of my personal life, feelings, or observations.
- Take down the blog. Remove the BLACKTRESS from the public record permanently.
- And, what I’ve currently done: changed the settings so that the blog doesn’t come up in search engines, and removed the “rating” that I used to have. The drawback to the former change is that fewer people will stumble upon me and my readership will dwindle. I guess I can still hyperlink to the blog from other websites to direct traffic, but I’d have to make sure that all other sites honored my request to use my alias—and there’s no guarantee.
I can’t believe this is happening—what a sad way to end BHM. If any of you are tech savvy or know a guy who knows a guy, please leave a comment and let me know. To stay with the metaphor: I will stop at every gas station and roadside dive in Awkward Town, asking for directions until I get back on the Highway of Dignity and Future Employment Opportunities (just off of Route 4).
1 comment:
I have only been reading your blog for about a month or two, but I have a bit of experience with revealing too much online (not as public as yours, but definitely embarrassing and potentially libelous.) It's a very difficult situation and I sympathise with your concerns about authenticity and self-censorship, as a fellow creative type. I suffer from the "fuck it" syndrome, where I go "Damn the torpedoes, I'm going to say this anyways". It's rather lucky that my current employer doesn't care what I do in my spare time, and my line of work (graphic and fine arts) rather expects you to be the radical sort.
I suppose my position is, harsh as it may be, that ultimately stuff online will get out, and if you are not able to stand up and defend it, you should probably take it down. (I'm not suggesting that you're too weak or cowardly to defend your posts, only that you face significant financial, social, or job-related pressure by posting certain things.) Conversely, comedians thrive on wildly inappropriate subject matter, and I don't think you're the type to water yourself down.
Anyways, I really enjoy reading your stuff. Whatever decision you make, I'll support.
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