Monday, March 2, 2009

Is Sojo gonna have to cut a (Pagan) Bitch?

Okay, so here's the latest with the Weasley:

I sent him an email damn near 2 weeks ago and didn't get a response. Of course I've gone through the range of emotions: anger, denial, and now acceptance. Of course, running into his momface was a bit of a setback, and although I was trying to play it cool, I had to write on his f-book wall. I mean, I saw his mother. How do you not discuss this?

So, after my pithy and witty wall post, I awake to a long email in my inbox, filling me in on his life thus far. Sounds all well and good, until I get caught on this little tidbit:
am staying with two really interesting college girls....very "spiritual" one is a budhist and the other is the president of the Pagan society, needless to stay we have a whole lot of candles, they both had wicked tats tho, unreal...yesterday we had a really fun day together...
Notice the ellipsis after the "really fun day together"

AAHHH!!!! He's so having threeways with experimental college hippies!!!
Threeways by candlelight!
Threeways for breakfast!
Threeways for lunch!
And then a sensible dinner!

I kind of want to vomit and never get out of bed.

President of the Pagan Society?! Like, wtf?! I bet her name is Moonbeam and she makes him gluten-free muffins.

Am I overreacting?

I've gotta hit the road and distract myself. This is going to a dark place.

4 comments:

Eli Reed said...

Oh god, wtf.

Save me from the "spirituality" of college girls.

Buddhist = I like to smoke weed and pretend I'm deep.

Pagan = if I had critical thinking skills I'd probably cut myself less.

Anonymous said...

love Eli comment so true, i wouldn't stress, Buddhist will be only looking to screw with someone on their own spiritual level ( i know i tried)
The pagan is most likely gay and hasn't worked it out yet. (sorry for the great generalisation but all the pagan's i have met are ether gay or off their medication)

President of the Pagan Society....really, not "great midnight goat horn holder" its like calling the pope "CEO of Catholics" pagans have no imagination.

I could be wrong, he could be stuck in the dingiest internet cafe, alone and scared with only the lies of his great time keeping him company

Sojourner (You Can't Handle the) Truth said...

you guys are both so good to me. he actually has a thing for girls with tattoos, but let's indeed focus on the fact that they may not have a thing for him.
yes, yes, i like this plan.

JJS III said...

Ellipsis Schmipsis. He overuses that shit like whoa. Don't read into it too much.