Who knew I was such a Billy Idol fan?
Tomorrow night Jewboo and I will be attending the wedding of two friends of mine. It's our first and, so far, only wedding of the year, so we're excited. This may also have to do with the fact that it's only 40 minutes outside of the city by train, which means we won't end up stuck in some godforsaken airport for 12 hours.
I've decided I really like going to weddings because I've learned how to make it all about me. Here's a quick tip sheet:
Making a Wedding Work for You: 2012 Edition,
by Sojourner 'you can't handle the' Truth
(dictated but not read)
- You know there will be photos galore, so save yourself hours of de-tagging the following weekend and use the upcoming nuptials as an excuse to look your MOST FIERCE. I'm super excited to get a mani/pedi/waxi/everythingelseineedtobebeautiful this afternoon!
- After all the flight delays and drama last year, I've decided to only attend weddings within driving distance. With this power comes great flexibility to add a little more vacation to your destination. We're just staying at a hotel one night, but I called to request an early check-in. We'll get to hit the gym/pool, take a nap, and squeeze a brunch in! Who says it's not my special day?
- Ask the DJ to play a few Zumba tunes! You'll engage the fuck out of your core!
- Instead of drinking games, play eating games! Ever wonder how many buttercream cupcakes you can eat in an hour? Now's your chance to find out!
- Bring 250 business cards and 12 copies of your reel. You never know who's related to Ryan Seacrest!
- If you're like me and hate discussing your job/daily life/deferred dreams, stay away from people in your age group and find the oldest person in the room. Chatting up Aunt Irma is guaranteed to bring laughs--and maybe even a self-esteem boost (bonus points if the person is so old that they lived in the Jim Crow era and are shocked at your mere presence).
Now that the truth-telling is over, let's have a little Friday fun with a photo montage!
The Theme: Awkward Wedding Photos
Is this the cover of a Nickelback album?
Why is this supposed to be cute? She actually looks scared.
CAPTION CONTEST! What do you think he's going through here?
Wake up, Rog! (his name is Roger, don't you think?)
So what if it's your second marriage--give her your all!
I love everything about this.
Okay, Japan, I get that the subservient woman is a thing
but must she be pocket-sized?
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