I'm Awkward

Things Not to Say When the Guy You Slept With Calls You to Make a Date:

6. I can’t really talk right now-- I’m watching the season finale of “I Love New York.”

5. You know, I think you should be on “I Love New York." You’re very urban. You remind me of Tailor Made.

4. I have three leaks in my ceiling.

3. When he arranges a date for Saturday on Monday, you say: “It’s good you called so far in advance; I book fast. I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany….. um, have you ever seen Anchorman?”

2. At the end of the conversation: “I’m going to hold my breath until Saturday!”
He says: “Um, why?”
You respond: “Until our date! I mean, what will I wear?! The possibilities are endless!”

1. I blogged about you.

And it is for this reason I had to take down my previous post, extolling his virtues as a giver. Just in case he is anywhere near as savvy an internet stalker as I am, he can't find out that I gave the world a little TMI. I'll repost once I have him firmly in my clutches, and he can separate the ACT from the BLACKtress.