I know I'm a week behind, but I gotta share this YouTube:
This chick knows what's up! Did mom play Ani Difranco next to her belly when this precocious gem was in the womb?
I remember being this bold and brash. Did I ever tell you guys about the time I stabbed a boy with a spork in pre-K because he tried to kiss me?
Well, yeah. That's basically it.
And I was the one who got sent to time out! I still remember it like it was yesterday.
The year was 1988. We'd just woken up from nap time and were getting our snacks--a fruit cup, I believe (hence the spork). This boy--whose name I can't remember, but I think it was something lame--came and sat right next to me, and I immediately got annoyed. He then leaned in and tried to kiss me, and I used the only weapon at my disposal--the plastic genetically modified utensil hybrid found in cafeterias and KFCs everywhere (is it still given out at KFC? I stopped going there once I decided I didn't want to die young). I weakly stabbed at him through his shirt, and didn't even leave a mark, but he yelled for one of the nuns and told them what I did. I tried to explain that I was being assaulted, but at the age of 4, I didn't have such a vocabulary. My teacher instantly put me in the time-out corner. I was 4 years old, and I was trying to Take Back the Afternoon and I was denied!
So, basically, if I had this girl in my class back then, I might have had some support--you know, a Susan B. Anthony to my Sojourner.
Showing posts with label ani difranco. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ani difranco. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Going, Going, Going...Almost GONE!
I honestly feel like I haven’t slept since March, guys. I don’t really know why, seeing as I’m no Miley Cyrus-type rock star. But I’ve just been going-going-going, and it’s coming to a head. Last week was the 5-year college reunion, where my Aspberger’s really flared up.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I loved college. I definitely know what Bruce Springsteen talked about when he sang “Glory Days.” I also know what Ani Difranco talked about when she sang….well, every song she ever sang. While I was excited to see some friends, having all of them concentrated at once after a 5-year hiatus wasn’t exactly my idea of a good time. I wanted to make a t-shirt that said:
I hoped that’d ward off any painful schmoozing at class dinner. Alas, I could not make this happen.
Honestly, I made it all of 24 hours on campus, with the highlights being hanging out with former professors, and getting to meet film and television writer Alex Kurtzman, the mastermind behind TV show Fringe (I’m so glad Joshua Jackson’s still working!), the new Stark Trek, and one of my old tv favorites, Hercules (Kevin Sorbo, swoon city!). He told a blacktress straight-up (like Paula Abdul) that I needed to get some more up-to-date spec scripts, and decide if I want to write drama or sitcoms, no back and forth—I can’t be a greedy, tv-writing bisexual, I’ve got to pick a gender! (I wish he’d used those words, but he didn’t)
It was also pretty awesome to see two girls who are blog fans—and they’re black! We weren’t really friends in college, but it seems they’ve come to love Sojourner’s Truth since graduation! One of them is really pretty and I want to be her when I grow up. She’s got a hot Rihanna hairdo and a Colgate smile (you know how much I love the contrast of pearly whites against Nubian skin), and she’s from Maine, and never told me I talked white when we were in college. She immediately asked me about Jewboo and expressed a need for a Jewtorial to help her with her new social circle. I quickly offered my services, of course.
Although there was some fun, those 24 hours tired me out (and drained my wallet--they charged $120 to sleep in a dorm room for a night!). I then pulled double duty yesterday’s at the Book Expo, where I was supposed to be schmoozing for work, and actually snuck off to shoot a short scene for a tv pilot (you know how I do). I had one line which could end up on the editing room floor, but you gotta start somewhere!
I’m now spending this Thursday morning blogging, when lord knows I should be working since I’m about to be out for 4 days. Tonight I head to a wedding in Vermont, which takes away yet another weekend. Sleep? What’s that again? I vaguely remember it, but I can’t quite place it’s face.
This is the wedding of the girl whose bachelorette party I planned. You know, the one who I still haven’t heard a thank-you from? Well, yeah, I’m about to take the 7-hour drive to Vermont, and spent much of this week searching for a dress because this wedding requires that I wear not one, but two dresses. As we all know, I’m not in the wedding, but Friday night is some cultural something or the other, which requires “Semi-formal” attire. Saturday is both an Indian and Christian ceremony, which is basically a 10-hour day.
Basically, I’ll be taking part in a Bollywood film.
I don’t do very well with events and dressing up. I’m not a particularly fancy lady. I enjoy dresses, but if it’s not black-tie, and not in New York City, I don’t really know how to handle it. In NYC, anything goes, and you can usually get away with whatever. Black tie, having the word “black” in it, usually gives me a good enough hint. I can wear black, and in addition to being black, hope that I’m adequately dressed. However, in Vermont, I’m just not sure. A friend, who’s also the maid of honor, told me the vibe is “country-chic.”
I have no concept of “country-chic,” or “semi-formal,” or compound-definitions in general.
I immediately went to Anthropologie, which is all about country chic, with it’s wacky patterns and tablecloth-style dresses, but that’s not my style. I like solid colors, but nice cuts that flatter the figure. I don’t really do brights. I manage to walk into the Anthropologie fitting room with four items, all of which are muted earth tones.
Lynn, the lovely lady in the fitting room who “was here to help me in any way” commented, “That’s funny. Most people don’t come here for plain things.”
I know, Lynn. I KNOW. I explained that I like a little color, but not crazy patterns and things. “It’s too much. I’m a big girl.”
“Your personality is already rather big,” she said.
SHE GETS ME.
So, I’ve found nothing, and have a suitcase packed with three dresses I already own, but don't really feel confident about. They’re rather plain, nothing patterned or shabby chic about them. I’m scared I’ll look the way I looked at all the bar and bat mitzvahs I went to when I was a kid—like the financial-aid girl who didn’t have an eating disorder. Which, you know, at my school, was a bad thing.
I’ve got to stop this. I’m not 13 anymore. Besides, no one’s going to be looking at me—it’s all about the bride.
Where’s “16 and Pregnant” when you really need a boost?
See you next week, kids! Enjoy the long weekend! We'll discuss the latest Jewboo to-do, and what to get G-Unit (grandma) for her 94th b-day--the party's gonna be off the chain!!!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I loved college. I definitely know what Bruce Springsteen talked about when he sang “Glory Days.” I also know what Ani Difranco talked about when she sang….well, every song she ever sang. While I was excited to see some friends, having all of them concentrated at once after a 5-year hiatus wasn’t exactly my idea of a good time. I wanted to make a t-shirt that said:
Hello! No, I’m not married. I’m NOT engaged. My current salary is less than our yearly tuition, and, despite all of our high hopes for my career, I’m not a famous comedian. How are you????
I hoped that’d ward off any painful schmoozing at class dinner. Alas, I could not make this happen.
Honestly, I made it all of 24 hours on campus, with the highlights being hanging out with former professors, and getting to meet film and television writer Alex Kurtzman, the mastermind behind TV show Fringe (I’m so glad Joshua Jackson’s still working!), the new Stark Trek, and one of my old tv favorites, Hercules (Kevin Sorbo, swoon city!). He told a blacktress straight-up (like Paula Abdul) that I needed to get some more up-to-date spec scripts, and decide if I want to write drama or sitcoms, no back and forth—I can’t be a greedy, tv-writing bisexual, I’ve got to pick a gender! (I wish he’d used those words, but he didn’t)
It was also pretty awesome to see two girls who are blog fans—and they’re black! We weren’t really friends in college, but it seems they’ve come to love Sojourner’s Truth since graduation! One of them is really pretty and I want to be her when I grow up. She’s got a hot Rihanna hairdo and a Colgate smile (you know how much I love the contrast of pearly whites against Nubian skin), and she’s from Maine, and never told me I talked white when we were in college. She immediately asked me about Jewboo and expressed a need for a Jewtorial to help her with her new social circle. I quickly offered my services, of course.
Although there was some fun, those 24 hours tired me out (and drained my wallet--they charged $120 to sleep in a dorm room for a night!). I then pulled double duty yesterday’s at the Book Expo, where I was supposed to be schmoozing for work, and actually snuck off to shoot a short scene for a tv pilot (you know how I do). I had one line which could end up on the editing room floor, but you gotta start somewhere!
I’m now spending this Thursday morning blogging, when lord knows I should be working since I’m about to be out for 4 days. Tonight I head to a wedding in Vermont, which takes away yet another weekend. Sleep? What’s that again? I vaguely remember it, but I can’t quite place it’s face.
This is the wedding of the girl whose bachelorette party I planned. You know, the one who I still haven’t heard a thank-you from? Well, yeah, I’m about to take the 7-hour drive to Vermont, and spent much of this week searching for a dress because this wedding requires that I wear not one, but two dresses. As we all know, I’m not in the wedding, but Friday night is some cultural something or the other, which requires “Semi-formal” attire. Saturday is both an Indian and Christian ceremony, which is basically a 10-hour day.
Basically, I’ll be taking part in a Bollywood film.
I don’t do very well with events and dressing up. I’m not a particularly fancy lady. I enjoy dresses, but if it’s not black-tie, and not in New York City, I don’t really know how to handle it. In NYC, anything goes, and you can usually get away with whatever. Black tie, having the word “black” in it, usually gives me a good enough hint. I can wear black, and in addition to being black, hope that I’m adequately dressed. However, in Vermont, I’m just not sure. A friend, who’s also the maid of honor, told me the vibe is “country-chic.”
I have no concept of “country-chic,” or “semi-formal,” or compound-definitions in general.
I immediately went to Anthropologie, which is all about country chic, with it’s wacky patterns and tablecloth-style dresses, but that’s not my style. I like solid colors, but nice cuts that flatter the figure. I don’t really do brights. I manage to walk into the Anthropologie fitting room with four items, all of which are muted earth tones.
Lynn, the lovely lady in the fitting room who “was here to help me in any way” commented, “That’s funny. Most people don’t come here for plain things.”
I know, Lynn. I KNOW. I explained that I like a little color, but not crazy patterns and things. “It’s too much. I’m a big girl.”
“Your personality is already rather big,” she said.
SHE GETS ME.
So, I’ve found nothing, and have a suitcase packed with three dresses I already own, but don't really feel confident about. They’re rather plain, nothing patterned or shabby chic about them. I’m scared I’ll look the way I looked at all the bar and bat mitzvahs I went to when I was a kid—like the financial-aid girl who didn’t have an eating disorder. Which, you know, at my school, was a bad thing.
I’ve got to stop this. I’m not 13 anymore. Besides, no one’s going to be looking at me—it’s all about the bride.
Where’s “16 and Pregnant” when you really need a boost?
See you next week, kids! Enjoy the long weekend! We'll discuss the latest Jewboo to-do, and what to get G-Unit (grandma) for her 94th b-day--the party's gonna be off the chain!!!
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