Tom Papa Don’t Preach!

He speaks truth to power—and is HI-larious!

Last night I went to Tom Papa's Comedy Central taping. I'd never seen him before, but I just wanted to go see a pro show, as I find it way more useful than attending a bunch of open mics where comedians are just trying all their new/worst stuff. Tapings are free, sure to be funny (since the comic’s doing this for TV, he’s bringing his A-game), and make me feel really, really cool.

I didn’t check out YouTube clips beforehand because I wanted to be surprised. Turns out that he’s the host of the reality show “The Marriage Ref.” I’m kinda glad I didn’t know that, or I wouldn’t have gone.

I went with two of my gal pals, and was more nervous that they wouldn’t like it—after all the open mics I’ve been to, my tolerance for raunch, crap, and silliness is pretty high.

When he walked on stage in a suit and tie, I knew it was gonna be all right. I am so over comedians who act like they’re too cool to iron a damn shirt or put on a sensible pair of slacks. If you have the talking stick and are forcing me to look at you, please do me the service of not dressing like a sister wife! (Those gals are clearly saving some magic for the Celestial Kingdom.)

Apparently, he’s been opening for Seinfeld for years, and you could tell he was a seasoned pro. There was one point where he spaced out, and I could tell he lost his place. But he just took a beat, got quiet, and the crowd went silent—I got very nervous for him, like I was his mom and this was his 8th-grade recital. But the moment he got his bearings, the laughter was uproarious; it was good to see that even if there’s 20 seconds of silence or no punchline, a quiet audience isn’t a bad thing. They'll chill out for a sec, but they won't abandon you that quickly.

I also noticed that his entire set was clean—not a single curse word, no real talk of sex—and it was all about the generalities: women, men, marriage, kids, facebook taking over the world. I’m only now realizing how important it is to have the generalities and the clean sets. I keep being told to “tighten it up”—take out extraneous words, get to the punch faster—and it annoys me, because I’m just not a setup/punchline comedian. But the fact is, if I hope to take it to the next level, I’ve got to have a “tight five” (5-minute set that’s clean, for tv shows like Letterman). And if I want to do touring shows (colleges, events, etc), I’ve also gotta have jokes that aren’t so specific to NYC (apparently, even the line “I have had hasty sex to avoid a subway transfer” won’t really hit home to those in the hinterlands). Realizing how many different types of jokes one has to have—and constantly have ready if the crowd isn’t what you expect—is a bit daunting. On the way home from the show, I broke out my notebook and reviewed my stuff. I made a list of everything that didn’t have a curse word in it (or could still work without the cursing) and everything that any person from any background could relate to. I shy away from that type of "everyman stuff" because it’s kinda boring to me. My brain moves really fast (do you see how much I type in 12 minutes?), so when it comes to a cliché or common occurrence we can all relate to, I’ve got the punchline before it comes, and assume the audience will, too—where’s the humor in that? If I don’t crack myself up with it, why would I say it on stage, you know?

As you can see, Tom Papa has had a profound effect on my life. Here are some clips—maybe he’ll touch something deep inside of you, too.